![]() ![]() Its a new day and i survived, i have taken steps to move forward and I dont know what part of me survived and got me here, I just am and i pinch myself to see if I am alive and I am worst luck…. I am not one to keep things going anyway, I have well and truly let it all out kicking and screaming all the way through the great remeberence and the confusion, the truth is I was scrambled eggs for a long time I barely remember the past two years. I am not jealous of your success, but it hurts because it jsut puts you so out of reach…. ![]() I know I love you, but I cant get this yuk out and the love flows at times and the grief and horror set in and then Im crazy all over again, but I love you if its of any use, because I m not sure love is any use,Īt least I understand now, and I am sory i didnt, I cant keep apologising for going insane, but I am sorry I went insane. The only thing I have to do now is paint, it seems empty, i worked through so much to get myself to this point and I cant believe what has happened, I am not craxy anymore but I am angry and sad and I’m not confused anymore, I’m angry and empty and Im not lost anymore, but I dont care about anything anymore, except you, and maybe the space is just way to big now, I am living in the truth now, oh well, I’m not happy, I’m lonely but I hate people, and I have no interest in anything anymore, I just exsist now, until I don’t anymore, thats it. Sorry, love just words, not worth saying any of them when words are so misused…. You are the only human being I have ever been close too that I can see is real and worthwhile on this planet, and yet I lashed out and made you the victim of all the insanity…. ![]() I have taken the whole crazy thing out on you, why, I dont know why…. Hi, Wow, all this stuff about you is too much, I cant cope with it, I never would have, Your brilliant…. ![]()
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